... ...

Whatever tickles my fancy number 5

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 10:42:38 GMT

Somtimes you find a song that fits your mood just right

SNEAKER PIMPS - GRAZES

So did the sympathy for me start to fade
When your conscience is down
Fix paranoia scars when I need all
So did you ever see the north get so grey
Swallows me up, hollows the language in my last lungs

So which fucking ape is on you today
That what my head wakes up and says when I crumble

I'm the aim
To suffocate and blame
You gave less
Than you tried to possess
All the greed
Is nothing that I need
If you can't face the grazes

I can't face the grazes
I cannot contain this
I can't fake the traces
I can't fake the grazes

So the fever that I got stole my name
It opened me up, twisted my bones now I'm nothing
I knew the second time that I saw your face
The city lit up was bleeding its gifts
Now I'm sinking

Just another lonely box beneath her bed
A mark on her back a bruise in her head
Had she fallen, had she fallen
That is what she wished she had said
Two traces of time were riding the spine
Was it worth it

I'm the aim
To suffocate and blame
You gave less
Than you tried to possess
All the greed
Is nothing that I need
If you can't face the grazes

I can't face the grazes
I cannot contain this
I can't fake the traces
I can't face the grazes

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:53:08 GMT

Day 01 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 02 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 03 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 04 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 05 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 06 → Your favorite song
Day 07 → Your favorite movie
Day 08 → Your favorite television program
Day 09 → Your favorite book
Day 10 → Your favorite quote
Day 11 → A photo that makes you happy
Day 12 → A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 13 → A photo you took
Day 14 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 15 → A photo of you taken recently
Day 16 → A fictional book
Day 17 → A non-fictional book
Day 18 → A fanfic
Day 19 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 20 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 21 → A talent of yours
Day 22 → A hobby of yours
Day 23 → A recipe
Day 24 → A website
Day 25 → A YouTube video
Day 26 → Your day, in great detail
Day 27 → Your week, in great detail
Day 28 → This month, in great detail
Day 29 → This year, in great detail
Day 30 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

Something I wrote last night...being ditched by ladies helps me be creative :

skin and sweat. sideways glances and strangers.
keep yourself held tight to yourself
drink wine. smoke cigarettes.
tell them you like their smile
eyes
hands
laugh
legs
fuck. tell them what you know they want to hear
but don't let it slip.
wake up in beds fitted with someone else's sheets
brush your hand just slightly, against their cheek
but keep your grip firm
leave bruises
leave clothing
leave your taste lingering on their lips
but be sure to have all of yourself before you go
skin and sweat. sideways glances and strangers.
wine.
cigarettes.
teeth and nails.
take it all.
but keep yourself, held tight to yourself.

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 08:23:02 GMT

EEEEEH amazon :D

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 06:07:56 GMT

had a big night friday night that involved dinner for toms b-day and the cranker and electric light with renee and nathan, and not much else.
last night was tjs 21st. good times. his friends are sweet, dad set up the undercover place really well and no one got too drunk. I didn't go out after, too tired.
Today I've spent in my pjs, buying books online :)

-"Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame" Charles Bukowski
-"Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit" Charles Bukowski
-"The Wine of Youth" John Fante
-"The Last Night of the Earth Poems" Charles Bukowski
-"What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire" Charles Bukowski
-"Ask the Dust (P.S.)" John Fante
-"Slaughterhouse-Five: A Novel" Kurt Vonnegut
-"The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses" Charles Bukowski

aksjfhdkasjdlasdasjkdlaskd

ahem. yeah I went a bit bukowski mad, but it's so damn hard to find his books in stores.

now to wait a month to get them...but still. EEEEEEP.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 12:19:39 GMT

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:35:24 GMT

I'm still not getting what I want

red hair makes me happy

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:26:03 GMT

the day the music died

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 06:43:40 GMT

where were you when it happened? At work. With a student. midway through giving morning medications. It was a long day. And yes, when I get home, I cried, not a few tears, but sobbing, painful streams of salty water. It's a big deal to me.

I first got into michael jackson when we went to disneyland in LA and saw the 3d show with him it, and also a strange flying creature.
From that point onwards some of the most important parts of my childhood can be associated with which album I was listening to at the time. Dancing around our house in alice springs to thriller, and wondering how it was possible that he sung the song AND managed to do "woo"s etc on top of the words. Lying in a big cumfy bed in my mums auntys place in canada when I first started having panic attacks. lazing by the beach in bali listening to Bad and thinking how appropriate liberian girl was for my location. Dangerous, do you wanna get up? Jam. haha my first introduction to any sort of rap breakdown in a song. Coming adelaide for christmas and staying in my aunty and uncles little appartment listening nonstop to history, anything, everything, anything for money. Blood on the dancefloor keeping me occupied on many road trips, and leading to the question of, what in fact, is morphine? ironic now that I give it to patients almost daily.The concert, which I have safely stored away on tape, and marveling at how amazing his stage precence is, and being far too excited about the other musicians who performed. How excited I was the first time I heard, you rock my world, the first new MJ in years. Invincible, high school, a completely different kind of Jackson, but still, love, speachless.
Michael Jackson started my love of music, he's been there through all the moving, all the traveling, all the fights, all the fun. I've never lost my love for his music, and I never will.

Farewell old friend, thanks for being there when no one else was.

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:24:45 GMT

uniform...and I lost that hat :(

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:29:46 GMT

I am a trashbag wot

family love

I WANT I WANT I WANT

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 05:38:21 GMT

I've decided. Now I just need to know where on my body to put it, and who to get to do it. Apparently shep isn't taking new clients this year? And I havn't seen anyone's else do other people's art as well as he does...sooooo, any suggestions?

help a pathetic person out

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:27:10 GMT

purely vanity, but I took some photos and played around with them and...
which is best?
(it's the only way I get the girls you see, entrapment haha)

My shifts for the next couple of monts

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:24:31 GMT

RACHELS SHIFTS

Early= 7am-3pm, Late= 2.30pm-10.30pm, Night= 10.15pm-7.15am

Basically if I have a late the next day, I’ll be keen to go out! If it’s an early the next day, perhaps a little less keen, and if I’m on nights…don’t even talk to me!

February:

(21) Saturday: late

(22) Sunday: late
(23) Monday: early
(24) Tuesday: early
(25) Wednesday: off
(26) Thursday: late
(27) Friday: early
(28) Saturday: off

March:

(1) Sunday: off
(2) Monday: late
(3) Tuesday: early
(4) Wednesday: early
(5) Thursday: off
(6) Friday: off
(7) Saturday: night

(8) Sunday: night
(9) Monday: night
(10) Tuesday: night
(11) Wednesday: off
(12) Thursday: off
(13) Friday: late
(14) Saturday: late

(15) Sunday: early
(16) Monday: early
(17) Tuesday: off
(18) Wednesday: late
(19) Thursday: early
(20) Friday: early
(21) Saturday: off

(22) Sunday: off
(23) Monday: late
(24) Tuesday: late
(25) Wednesday: late
(26) Thursday: early
(27) Friday: off
(28) Saturday: late

(29) Sunday: early

Happy day three

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 07:04:19 GMT

things that made me happy today:
lying in bed cuddeling kat, laughing, take away food for my hangover, not having to work

Day 2 of happy things

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 02:29:08 GMT

-mum bringing in a xmas stocking filled with lovely things
-the huge basket of kitchen goods I recieved last night
-expensive french champagne and croissants for breakfast
-seeing my grandparents and being invited to come rade my grandmas cupboards for crockery
-wonderful presents including cook books, crockery, wine glasses and butterfly things
-the awesome water bottle dad got me! (if you know me you'll understand)
-laughing at bing crosby

and I anticipate more happiness when nan arrives for lunch and then we head up the hill to my aunty and uncles place. and perhaps this evening I may see kat, which would also make me happy :)

(thanks to everyone who gave advice regarding my last post. akira hit the nail right on the head with what I was thinking anyway, so feel free to read her response if you want to know what I'm going to do! haha.)

Love to all my lj friends, Merry Xmas, thanks for sharing the strange corners of my mind with me for all these years, you all know me much better than some of my 'real life' friends haha xox

I have been tagged by iss ria and I shall oblige

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 05:21:17 GMT

rules:for eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day. tag eight people to do the same.

Today I am insanely hungover, and last night was the most intense night ever, which has my head full of scrambled thoughts; However this is an entry about happy thins and today there have been two.

-tom brought me juice in bed
-ham and cheese on toast with eggs on top (hungover remember)

I am about to sleep now, that will make me happy as well.
I don't know how to do the fancy linked tagging, but for the hey of it I tag:
abatage
cataplexi
neverreal
dizzy_jezz
silent_revery
krissy_girl
pussinator
aleatory

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 04:13:09 GMT

What is it with women. I'm so tired of that point in the relationship where they start with the "you're too good for me" crap. I mean, what the hell does that even mean? ugh. I know my family are impressive, they've done a lot, and I know that I've done a lot as well...but that's just my life, my path, it doesn't make me any better than anyone else! *sigh*
We also talked about the not kissing other people thing, she still doesn't get why it's a big deal but she knows that if anything happens then that's the end of it. She did say she was worried it would happen...I hope that it was just a 2 month freak out for her...I hope.
She had a bit of a cry too, she was saying she had a argument with her mum about me. She said her parents acknowledge me as her friend but not as her girlfriend, and that they went out of their way for her brothers girlfriend (when he had one). She said she wants me to be part of the family, she wants them to know how much she loves me. That was nice. And that she was crying, I could see she really meant it, kind of made up for the other stuff. Still feeling a bit uneasy though. Why can't it be easy? Cass just sent me an e-mail though about the insecure freakouts that occur in the "male" in the relationship (I hate the analogy but it fits}. EXCEPT I've been in relationships where I've been the "guy" and I didn't freak out. BLARG. women.

Tom's home soon. That will be good.

Is it too much to ask for someone who just wants to be with me? For a long time? Without feeling like I am too good for them or that they're not good enough for me?

*pulls out hair*

just thought you should know

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:13:29 GMT

that
I AM A NURSE
motherfuckers wooooot!!!
got my registration today
*nods*
now I can practice legally, you know, no more backyard nursing haha

myah
also agreed to 2 year contract with ashford hosp
$2500 bonus

*dances*

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 06:13:54 GMT

I need to write a massive venting entry
but I'm too emotionally drained at the moment
for now I am posting to celebrate
just booked flights to melbourne from the thursday the 8th till monday the 12th.
can't wait :)
need a holiday

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:33:00 GMT

I'm so fucked. everything is fucked.

LIES!!!

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 06:07:36 GMT

edited pictures always make me feel like a liar.
even when it's only the colors I mess with.
My eyes aren't that amazing in color, I wish!
my point being...

Dismantle me

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:49:54 GMT

I GOT THE JOB

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 05:06:00 GMT

MOTHERFUCKING SHIT YEAH!!!
As of feb 9 next year
I will be a nurse working in the high dependancy unit at ashford hospital

YAAAAAAAAY
SO HAPPY

I actually cried that's how happy I am!

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 08:19:03 GMT

I'VE FINISHED UNI!!!

Had my prac exam this morning. Felt good. Just waiting on results before I can register. Fingers crossed I passed them both *crosses fingers*

Interview at Ashford tomorrow at 1, wish me luck for that as well.

I FUCKING DID IT!!!

CLEARLY, I need my hair done

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 04:16:44 GMT

finally. proper photos.

and where would we be without the cliche kissing photo